In case you are not aware, this is my first blog for this website. You may well be wondering why on earth would I want to start with “Solitude” as the first topic for a website which intends to be a self-improvement blog. Well, the reason is that it is the phase of life and the situation I am in right now.
You can also probably notice the fact that I have chosen to go ahead with Solitude instead of Loneliness. Why would I do that? They both mean the same right? Wrong. They don’t. Although Solitude does mean the state of being alone. But it is far from being lonely.
Loneliness is more like the state of helplessness, where you don’t really wish to stay alone but you feel, for some reason, you just can’t help it and are unable to come around and find a solution for it.
Solitude, on the other hand, is a positive construct of loneliness. You Choose to be alone and that is how you wish to be. Not because you are sad. But because you actually feel a happy and content that way. Solitude is not loneliness, it is a phase after you finally come out of loneliness. But why would somebody choose to be in a state of solitude? Quite simple. It helps you lead your life in a way you choose and be content with it. No strings attached. Sometimes living alone is not the problem, it is the solution.
Every once in a lifetime, everyone eventually gets thrown in to situations in life which make them feel like they have hit the rock bottom. Things really can’t get any worse after this. But once they survive that phase, all they want is to not be disturbed. Not by anyone. Not by people. Not even by their own thoughts. This is all they want, this is what they need.
Clear head. Clear mind. Clear slate. A fresh start.
How many fresh starts can you really have in one life? Unlimited. That time and moment which you just saw passing by is never going to return. Everyone new moment and the one after is a potential fresh start. You have the ability and time to decide how you make yourself happier than before in this moment and the next. This is what you get when you choose to live alone. Unlimited choices. The best part about such choices is that unlike all the other decisions you have ever made in your life, these are not influenced by anyone but yourself! When you spend some time to think about this fact, you will start realizing how rare this is.
And unlike everything else in life [except for smile 🙂 ], this too costs nothing. It is worth a try. You have spent your entire life trying to make everyone around you happy, satisfy their expectations of you, let them make your decisions for you. It is now finally time you do all of this by yourself, for yourself. Do what makes you happy. This is one That thing you will never regret.
There is an amazing book named Celebrating Time Alone written by Lionel Fisher which does a great job in making you understand your true self worth and helping you connect with yourself.